Speaking of hotels and sex - what's the deal with the sexpectation there? (For those of you unfamiliar with my new term it means any time there's an expectation of sex). Like all of a sudden staying in a hotel is going to make me want to have sex. Actually, I'm thinking of all the gross things on that bedspread and mattress from OTHER people having sex on it. Yuck! And I realize sometimes it's the whole getting away thing - the kids aren't there, all the house crap isn't there, etc. And occasionally that will be sufficient to loosen me up enough to give in. But I hate the fact that it's just expected. Same things goes for vacations. I'm on vacation so that should automatically put me in the mood? How? Did my spouse all of a sudden become so hot I have to jump him? Or did I magically lose 10 lbs so I feel sexy? Is being on vacation or in a hotel some sort of foreplay that's supposed to be working it's mojo on me? And most husbands even have these sexpectations when the kids are there! Yes honey, trying to get it on with little Timmy sleeping 5 feet away is really working for me. I really enjoy constantly worrying about waking him up and explaining why mommy and daddy are "wrestling." And family vacations are SO relaxing, what with the screaming, fighting, trying to please everybody, packing, unpacking, laundry. That really gets my motor going. Actually, you know what WOULD get my motor going is a week away with my girlfriends to a relaxing spa where we're flirted with by the hot wait staff and Marco the massage therapist.
I've found, in discussing this with friends, that it's the expectation itself that is a HUGE turn-off. We automatically get irritated, which isn't conducive to intimacy. So there you have it men - quit with the sexpectations already. It's annoying and too reminiscent of teenage boys' mentality.
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3 comments:
Am I allowed to print this off and hang it on the refrigerator or tape it to the case of beer in the fridge?
My husband needs to read this one....
I think taping it to the beer would be most conducive to reading. Good one.
I would like to add my disdain for sexpectations in stupid moments - like when his parents are in the bedroom directly below ours. Um, hell no. Or after we've fought and I'm still angry. It can't be make up sex until forgiveness has been granted. Ever notice how women do not initiate make up sex? Because how often are we the ones doing stupid stuff to get ourselves in trouble? Yeah, not too often. Men, on the other hand...
Or can I add that there is no 'time frame' clause either. We haven't had sex in a week.....doesn't mean I have to.
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