Allen Becker wants to be my friend. Who TF is Allen Becker?

I can't remember if I blogged about this before and I'm too lazy to go back and check, so if this is a repeat I apologize. Actually, I take that back. I don't care if I'm repeating myself. You don't have to read it.

Facebook.
I am a member. I can't decide if I like it or not. I rarely check it, only if I get an email saying somebody left me a message, whatever. What I don't like is all the extra crap - quizzes, green badges, blah blah blah. I also don't get it when somebody wants to be my friend on facebook and I don't know the person. What? Do they just randomly send out friend requests? I don't get it. I also don't get people sending me friend requests who I might have known (like people from high school that weren't in my class and never said more than two words to me). Is there some sort of friend competition - the one with the most friends is the coolest? Honestly, I don't want to be "friends" with all these random people. I don't care what they're doing. I don't need to network. Is that why these people feel the need to send out friend requests to anybody they might have known in their entire lives - networking? Am I weird for not wanting to be Facebook friends with everybody? I have had one cool thing happen from joining Facebook - hearing from an old high school boyfriend. He was my first long-term relationship (more than a year in high school is considered long term I think) and my first in other things as well (hint hint). So it was fun to hear from him and learn that he's married, just had a baby, etc. Plus it's not like I had a whole lot of other past relationships with men - I started dating TGD soon after I broke up with "my first" (cuz it was just meant to be, but that's fodder for another post).

Learn something new, it's good for ya

If you want to learn more about Halloween (and you all should because we need more smart, informed people in the world) then check out the History channel's site - www.history.com.

Hallo-weiners

So I got a note from my daughter's school saying that this year they're going to be having a "Fall Festival" instead of the traditional Halloween party, because this way all the students can participate. Apparently, in the past, some parents didn't want their kids participating in any Halloween festivities (you know, due to the satanic rituals) so the "Fall Festival" is the school's way of making sure all the kids can join in the fun. It's like having "winter break" instead of "Christmas break." I get it and I'm sure it will be fine - but part of me thinks this is completely ridiculous and I'm a little upset the kids won't get to have costume parties. If these idiots would actually do the research on WHY and HOW we came to celebrate Halloween maybe they wouldn't have such a problem with it.

Trying to make an informed decision

I wasn't going to watch the presidential debate tonight. I watched the last one and I regret those two hours of my life I'll never get back. I hate politics - I really really do. However, I do think it's important to care about what's going on, try to be somewhat informed, yada yada yada. Anyways, TGD had the debate on while I was working on the laptop so I got sucked into it. Mostly they say the same thing over and over again. What I'd like to know is how do you pick a candidate when they cater to the extreme left and right? I consider myself a "middle ground" person - neither super liberal nor conservative. Where's my candidate? Ralph Nader? That's it? See, this is why most of the time I don't get involved. I'm disillusioned with the whole political process, that and it seems like the people that are gung-ho are too extreme, unwilling to hear anything the other side has to say. The whole thing just drives me nuts.

Look out, I'm on my damn soapbox.

I'm really fed up with the Kinder-whore outfits they have on sale for Halloween. WTF is WRONG with people that they would actually let their child wear something like that?! No, it's not cute to dress your elementary student in a little goth cheerleader outfit, complete with fishnet stockings and hooker boots. Really, what are we teaching our kids when we allow that? "Go ahead honey, exploit and objectify yourself." And then we act all shocked when we find out middle schoolers are performing oral sex on one another? Connect the friggin' dots. And oh yes, let's do buy a bunch of magazines with half-naked airbrushed models on them to lay around the house for our kids to see. After all, we want them to know that THAT is the standard to be measured up to - that's what women should look like - a bunch of stick thin sex objects. And don't forget that our sons are seeing it as well. So what do you think they're going to think of girls when they get bigger? Do you think that's teaching them respect? Yes, all those pop and hip-hop "artists" are so respectful to women - especially in the videos. Wake the hell up America! It's up to us to teach our kids about modesty, respect, self-esteem, relationships, and sex. Pretty impossible when they are bombarded by inappropriate media images and messages. Those companies know what they are doing - they've done the research. Sex sells, so they sell it at a younger and younger age.

Why the diatribe, you ask? No, I'm not some bible preaching conservative whack job (quite the opposite really). I read a book that opened my eyes - "So Sexy, So soon."
www.sosexysosoon.com
Buy it, read it, live it. Your children will be better off because of it.

Oprah and introspection

Lately I've been watching Oprah. I don't know why - boredom I guess. I used to watch it quite a bit and then quit, mostly because I got sick of all the commercials (no wonder she makes so much freaking money) and I started reading more (smut). Anyways, I happened to catch some of her two part series of "Why Husbands Cheat." She had the guy who wrote the book on the show, whom I actually like (he also did some work on divorce and kids). I think he's very smart and objective - so I was interested in what he had to say. He said the number one reason that men listed for having an affair was lack of appreciation at home. Of course, like many women, I immediately was like "WTF? Geez, the damn babies! I gotta take care of my kids AND pat my husband on the head too?! What about MY appreciation? Where the hell is that?!" But, I realized that it really wasn't a big deal and it actually makes a lot of sense. I don't often tell TGD what a good job he's doing, or what a great dad he is, or thank him for doing things around the house. Instead I point out things that aren't done, things that are done wrong, things that he should be doing more of (like staying home with the kids). And you know, I think men in general have fragile egos - more so than women (cuz we're tough shit). Not that there's anything wrong with that - I think it's how they're wired. So why is it so hard for me to show appreciation - to say thanks? Part of me thinks if I start doing that then he'll start slacking off - like "oh, I'm doing a great job so I deserve to play some more golf." I know that's dumb. And I know it makes sense that by showing him more appreciation then he most likely will respond positively and appreciate me more in turn. That's the theory anyways. But it's gotten to the point that I don't even know how to say "thank you." For example, the other night TGD arranged for us to go out to dinner and a movie - even called the sitter (a couple of them), and invited some other friends to join us. So I'm feeling pretty happy with him for taking that initiative and getting me out of the house (I've been in kind of a shlump lately). I was feeling pretty good all day, thinking loving thoughts, and how I'm going to be sure to thank him and show my appreciation. But we get home, after having a nice time (even though I locked my keys in the car, which created some tension early on in the evening), and I'm sitting on the couch thinking "just say it. Say thanks. Tell him he's a good husband." It took me probably 30 minutes before I just blurted out "hey, thanks for arranging all that tonight. I really needed to get out of the house." Now, why was that so hard? I felt like I was back in middle school again trying to get up the nerve to have my friend tell the friend of the boy that I liked that I liked him. It really made me think - "wow, this is the point that we've gotten to in our marriage. I'm not even comfortable giving him a compliment because I'm so used to just saying nothing, or telling him what he didn't do right." Part of it is my nature - I'm not "lovey-dovey." I don't like to snuggle, I'm not affectionate, I gag at sentimental cards, romantic gestures make me uncomfortable, basically I'm like a dude except I have boobs and like to shop. Even so, it's not like I have to get down on one knee and profess my undying love every time he does something nice - but a simple "thanks" shouldn't make me break out into a nervous sweat. So, this is something that I'm going to be working on. NOT because I think he'd end up having an affair, but because I think it would be good for our marriage - and we could really use that right now, what with me being a huge pregnant whale with our 3rd child and never wanting to have sex (and THANK YOU TGD for being so understanding and not pressuring me or saying hurtful comments). See, I'm trying.