Maneater? I'm more of a "stress-eater."

I was reading about a new TV show called "Cougar." I can't remember when it's on or what channel but it's a reality show (surprise) about 40-something women looking for love among a bunch of 20-something hardbodies. The article called them "himbos" which I thought was pretty freaking funny. Anyways, I'm going to try to find out when it's on to see what it's like. I'm all for a show that does a little role reversal (since we seem bombarded with shows where women fall all over themselves for one dumb guy). And I can see the draw of a younger guy (hello! all that enthusiasm...) but I don't know if I could date him (assuming I wasn't married blah blah blah). I mean, I already have three kids. I think I'd have a tendency to become the "mother figure" with a younger guy, and that's just gross.

Goodbyes are never easy

Warning: this post might get a little maudlin. There, you've been forewarned. I'm in an introspective mood.

It all began this past January when my husband decided to man up and have a vasectomy (did I blog about that already?). Anyways, it was something that we had discussed while I was preggers with kid #3. I knew I didn't want to get pregnant again and I absolutely did not want to be on birth control for the next 10 years. Plus, TGD, being the smart guy that he is, knew that a vasectomy was the best choice for us (versus those idiots who think their wives should just have a tubal, like it's not an invasive surgery requiring inpatient hospital stay). So I was very glad when he scheduled his appt because the sooner he had it done the sooner I could go off the damn pill. However I will say when he called on his way home to say that he was "oficially out of commission" I had a weird moment. Not like an "oh crap, what have we done" but more of a "I can't believe that we'll never have another baby and that part of our life is done" moment. It made me a little sad - but definitely not regretful of our decision. Anyways, for the past two months we've been using "backup" birth control (because the boys have to get all flushed out before it's safe to back in the water without an inner tube, if you get my drift) and we've had a couple of "oh shit, oops" moments where I get all panicky and take a few pregnancy tests, freaking out the whole time and generally driving TGD insane. Well, tonight I got the news that I can quit being paranoid because the swimmer count is zero. Which once again caused me to have mixed emotions. On the one hand I let out a huge sigh of relief, but then again I felt a little sad at the total finality of it. And just to drive home the point even further, after I got off the phone I went to the bathroom and got my period. So, there it is. No more babies, no more pregnancies. I might have a couple of teary moments tonight and I'll probably hold my 4 month old a little more than usual tomorrow, but I'm not second guessing myself. I know I don't really WANT any more kids or to be pregnant ever again (especially that part), but it doesn't mean I don't need to say my goodbyes to that part of my life. It doesn't mean I can't mourn it, just a little bit.