Not a "yes dear" kind of gal

I told TGD the other day that I think I was either a suffragette or a 60s bra burner in a former life. Why else would I have such a strong feminist mindset? My mom and Grandma were both fairly strong-willed women so maybe some of it is inherited. They both stayed home with the kids (although both also worked at times before and after having kids) and both did the majority of the cooking and cleaning ("women's work") around the house, well, when not using their kids for child labor (just kidding, we got an allowance for chores so it was a fair deal). But they still managed to not be "yes dear" types of women. They were in charge. It also helped that my Dad loves babies so he was usually willing to watch us kids (which was fun for us because it meant we got to have dinner out). Looking back through some of my posts I realize I come off as kind of a ball-buster, but the truth is I kind of AM a ball-buster. I don't think that just because my husband earns the income I should be in charge of everything else. I stay home to take care of my kids because I want to be in charge of their day to day activities, not because I love cooking and cleaning. Why that seems to become part of my job description is puzzling to me. It's not like I have a lot of time during my day with the kids to clean the house, do laundry, and cook meals. I'm usually busy taking kids places, keeping them entertained, maintaining sibling harmony, feeding them, etc. So I really don't get those women who take up that mantle of "housewife" and don't have a problem with it. A lot of women I've talked to will say it's because their husbands don't know how to do anything (which is true) so they just do it themselves. I think that is a total cop out! I think men KNOW this about their wives and use it to their advantage. But what really burns my butter is hearing about the husband that's never home, never helps out with the kids, etc. I'm thinking to myself, "okay, so do something about it." But the thing is (and my sister has to keep reminding me of this), is that some women are generally okay with that situation. WHAT?! I'm so puzzled by this behavior, but I see it all the time. So it makes me wonder, am I so different from everybody? Honestly I've always been that way with guys - in fact I think if one inquired a lot of boys from my graduating class would have said I was a bitch. Which if by "bitch" they meant someone who wouldn't take their teasing bullshit or be talked down to like I was some stupid ho then I gladly accept the title. Maybe that's why I don't ever get hit on the rare times I go out. I have a "don't even try it" vibe that clings to me, a general mistrust of male intentions. It's just who I am.