B.O.B

Alright alright already. So my sister's gettin' on my case about not blogging. Well, I've been tired and busy, neither of which conditions are conducive to blogging. When I'm tired my brain is mush and my loyal readers deserve nothing but the best (I know some of you just snickered "this is her 'best?!'" Well screw you, I never claimed to be an intellect or an English major, so this crappy writing is what you get. I'm all about mediocrity. See, I don't even think I spelled that right. And when I just typed 'right,' the first time I wrote 'write.' So just be thankful that I can make any sense at all). blah blah blah who cares. Okay, on to the real topic of the post...finally...
So this weekend was my thrice-annual Girls Weekend. It's when I get together with my best friends from high school (there are 7 of us) and we hang out at somebody's house and do wacky things. We've done things like wearing wigs and going to a strip club (ooh, another topic for a future post), dressing up in 80s costumes and roller skating, going dancing and almost getting in a fight (okay, that was me, but that little college bitch had it coming!), and other more non-remarkable things that women do when getting together (you know, shopping, eating, talking all hours of the night, playing the American Idol video game, what have you). Well this time we had a "Pure Romance" party. All of us thought it would be fun because we have absolutely no secrets from one another, and at 30 years old (and all married 5+ years) we're all interested in anything that could improve our sex lives (okay, this is the part where all you prudes need to quit reading). Anyways, I was pleasantly surprised at how much we all enjoyed it. It was really fun. We got to take goofy pictures with all the toys (the big purple "Mr. Dependable" was my favorite, only because it had a suction cup on it which made "fridge boner" possible along with all sorts of raunchy jokes). I also had my first taste of rocky road lube. It was pretty good but I honestly think lube is like bathroom spray - you spray to cover the smell but it ends up just smelling like "vanilla poo." Well, the same thing happens with lube - it just ends up tasting like "rocky road balls." But I did like the smell of the flavors versus the plain lube. Plain lube smells like I'm about to have my yearly check-up. Not really the mood I want when getting intimate. There were some toys that were pretty funny. One that really weirded me out was the bullet vibe, only because if you had your legs closed it could buzz right up them to your cooter. It reminded me of that SNL skit "Woomba, the feminine hygiene robot." And I'm not really a fan of remote control vibrators - wouldn't that be awkward with the cord getting in the way? However, I did manage to find a few things, none of which I'm going to tell you, dear reader, because the circle of trust has been broken (see Small Town Living).