Attack of the Mom Swimsuits

Just like there are Mom Jeans there is also the Mom Swimsuit. You know the type - all you have to do is open a Lands End catalog and there are a variety of shapes and colors to choose from (which I don't understand because doesn't everybody just order black anyways?). You can even type in your body shape and they'll immediately take you to the miracle suit that will camouflage your particular "trouble area." I myself wore a mom suit last summer - a nice boring navy tankini that hid my belly and whose bottoms came up to my bellybutton, not to mention it did absolutely nothing for my boobs (those "soft cups" are worthless, haven't they figured out that moms have saggy boobs and need a little more push-up!). But I didn't care too much - after all I had just had a baby (6 months prior) and at that point was just looking to hide the hideousness of my body in as much fabric as possible (difficult to do in spandex). But I was at a waterpark recently and I couldn't help but notice that there were lots of really cute moms with great bodies who were trying to do the same thing - cover up and blend in. I understand that we can't all be running around in racy swimwear. I mean, you're at the pool with little kids and you have to chase them around so we can't have body parts popping out when they need to stay tucked in. But honestly, the skinny mom with the great legs - you don't need to be wearing a swim skirt! Or the mom with the hourglass curves - you don't need to be wearing that blah brown tankini! How about some color or polka-dots! Maybe a smaller bottom that doesn't make it seem like you're wearing a diaper? Is there some rule that says if you're a mom you have to start dressing like it and are no longer allowed to be sexy? I don't think so! But then again, I'm kind of a skank.