And who would have thought...

Isn't it ironic, don't ya think? I really do like that song. Okay, so what's ironic? The fact that I'm making this post directly after my last post about NOT WANTING to go back to teaching and having anything to do with teenagers. What's the irony in that? Well, just that for the past many months (I'm too lazy to think and count and what, you think I'm just some math whiz or something to pull that number outta my head, like there's a limited number of months of the year and I should be able to subtract from 12...) I've been TEACHING TEENAGERS! Which is why you shouldn't believe anything you read here or take me seriously, ever. I just thought it was an opportunity I couldn't pass up. I'd be able to see if I really wanted to go back to teaching or if it sucked as much as I remembered. And the truth is....both and neither. I know, I confuse myself. That could be because I've been drinking. Seriously though, I learned a lot about myself and I like to think I weathered the year pretty well (minus my growing waistline and haggish appearance). I learned that I don't mind going to work, I like feeling productive, I generally get along fairly well with other adults (but that could be because, as a teacher, I have limited exposure to them), and I do okay with teenagers (jury might still be out on that one depending on who you ask). What I didn't enjoy is the stress, the never having time for myself, never feeling like I have enough time for my kids, not having enough time for things I truly enjoy (like fitness and being skinny), and realizing that I'm just not that passionate about teaching Spanish. I also found out I'm old and have zero knowledge of technology or current pop culture. The past couple of weeks I've been a roller coaster ride of deciding whether or not to continue my teaching career. I have the option of staying home (which many people do not) and when I was hired it was with the understanding that if it didn't work out then they would be able to advertise in the Spring (unlike last Summer when it was later in the game and they were worried about who they'd get...and then they got me, hehe). Surprisingly to myself this was a tougher decision than I thought it would be. I truly did not anticipate joining the workforce until my kids were older and more self-reliant, something I've struggled with all year. However, I really do enjoy my co-workers and thinking about leaving them has made me very sad. They have become my extended family and they have made me feel welcome and appreciated - something you don't get from being a stay at home mom. However, I have decided that I want to be home with my kids while they still need me and want me there. I also want to explore some other future career ideas, maybe take some classes, and get back to fitness - which has been a huge part of my life for the past 8 years and I have missed it. And what about my students? They'll be fine. Teachers are replaceable. Moms are not.