My friend recently emailed me about her new Schwan's man, who is apparently smokin' hot. See, this is big news when you're a stay at home mom, seeing as how our interactions with the opposite sex consist of those we have with:
our spouse - while loving, not exactly lust-inspiring on a daily basis
the guy at the meat counter - the innuendos (salami anyone?) are too laughable to be flirty, especially when the kids are whining/screaming/(fill in your favorite verb here).
the home delivery man - not condusive to flirtatious banter (even though I giggle at all "package" one-liners I can think of) since both the dog and the baby try to escape out the door while the preschooler is yelling "I went poopy!" in the background. Plus these visits are sporadic and tend to happen when mommy is looking like death in a puke T-shirt.
So you can see how desperate we are that the thought of ordering ice cream from a hot Schwan's man is even remotely scintilating. Because unlike the regular home-delivery person, a Schwan's man is on a schedule, therefore we can put on jeans instead of our sweats and pretend to be non-repellant. We can put a movie in to give the appearance of calm and having it all together. Then maybe we can offer a flirty smile and for two seconds while we order some more frozen lasagna we can feel *gasp* attractive!? It's pathetic, I know, but it's all we've got.
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5 comments:
I found your blog through Heidi's and this entry made me totally laugh!!! I am a SAHM too and remember when one of the mailmen was yummy!! We have to take whatever eyecandy we can get!!! And your blogs make me realize how damn boring my entries are!!
Thanks, I enjoy hearing from other people (I write that like it happens all the time when in reality only like 3 people have ever posted comments, the majority of those being from my own sister). I checked out your profile and it's gotten 700+ viewings. I'm pretty sure mine's around 30. Man, I am such a loser.
Ok...so I get Schwann's delivery on thursday and I was sitting there today as the truck pulled up and felt a pang of excitement. Could it be...do I have the gorgeous driver too? I open the door (after I wet my lips and fluff my hair) and what do my wondering eyes should appear???
Complete let down....very unattractive, in fact missing a tooth, and talked with a lisp. Needless to say I didn't order anything and I went back to work pissed off. Thanks alot for getting my hopes up. I hope for your sake we DON'T have the same driver or you really need to get out of the house more!
Okay Dorkalicious, I said my FRIEND (who doesn't live in the same town as me) has a hot Schwann's man - not me! Although I did have a hot exterminator guy come over once (again, not in the town I am currently living in). I always made sure to wear my push-up bra, which was pre-babies so my ta-tas were lookin pretty perky.
We all know that when you say "friend" it really doesn't mean friend. But to make you feel better I will accept your response because I know you don't think this Schwann's man is cute and neither would any "friend" But just you are the friend and it is the same delivery guy...I want you to know that you need help.
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