Social butterfly

So Hope and I have decided to plan a party. Whenever I start feeling down in the dumps it's time for me to throw a party, which is weird because I've always considered myself to be an introvert (you know the type, most nights I'd like to sit by myself and read a good book). Anyways, I love being social - most of the time. I think because I stay home and go many days speaking only to my kids and husband (and those times being constantly interrupted). So every so often I get the chance to socialize with other adults and attempt to show off my wit and charisma (HA!). And during the party I always think to myself "see, people are laughing at something I said. I'm not just a boring lump with nothing to say." But then after the party the self-recriminations start - "I talked nonstop! Why didn't someone tell me to shut up?! I'm a complete and total dork!" So then I vow at the next party I'm going to make an effort to NOT be a complete jabberbox. And then the social isolation begins again, then another party where I can't keep my trap shut....you see the cycle here. I'm like a jack-in-the-box, safely tucked away in my little box and when you let me out - bam! It's diarrhea of the mouth time.